Today
by Tanuki Ra
Summary: Paige/Emily oneshot. Rated T for kissing.


_Today is the day_, Paige told herself. Today was the day she would come out and win the heart of one Emily Fields, swim team captain. She'd been practicing in the mirror, saying the words "I'm gay" out loud. She'd never actually said them aloud to anyone, not even Emily. Paige used phrases such as "I'm like you" or "I'm that way" as a code, in case anyone overheard their conversations. But now, standing in her bathroom talking to herself, Paige didn't feel ridiculous but oddly relieved. And confident. "I'm gay. I'm gay, gay, gay... for Emily Fields."

Of course, saying it to herself in an empty house was a lot easier than saying it to her father, Nick McCullers. If there was a Tyrannical Fathers and Homo-Hating League (and Paige was pretty sure there was), her father would be the president. Paige was dreading that conversation. She wasn't planning to formally announce her sexuality at the dinner table, but she knew it would get back to him quickly when she told Emily that she was ready to date her openly.

It had been almost a month since the ill-fated picnic in the woods. Paige had seen it going much differently in her head when she invited Emily out. Her picnic plan had included much more kissing and hand-holding and much less breaking up. _Can you call it 'breaking up' after only one date_, she wondered. True to her word though, Emily had remained her friend, and the two had grown closer. They talked about Maya and relationships in general, in addition to the usual topics like movies, music, and school. Paige had even found she had trouble falling asleep the last few nights until Emily texted her goodnight. And last night she had barely slept at all.

Paige and Emily had ended up back at the Hungry Owl Tavern as part of Paige's plan to use karaoke to distract Emily from the aftermath of Maya's abrupt return. Three days ago Maya had returned from Lake GayBeGone (Emily's nickname for the juvie camp), and politely broke up with Emily, who in turn wished her the best. It was the most terrifyingly amicable thing Paige had ever witnessed. Paige had hovered over Emily, waiting for the inevitable storm, until Emily had finally snapped at her.

"I'm not a porcelain doll, McCullers! We all knew it was coming, this was just a formality." Paige knew sullen hurt when she saw it, and it was killing her to see Emily like this.

"Fine then, Fields, since you're so over it, we're going to karaoke tonight. You will pick me up at 7, and we will have fun," Paige said decisively. Emily began to protest, saying something about homework, but Paige shushed her. "7 o'clock, Emily," she said as she walked away.

Paige's father was so engrossed in his work that she could have told him she was going out to smoke crack and light her head on fire, and she would've gotten the same "Mmmhmm, be home on time" response. _I think I prefer it when he neglects me_, she thought. She waited at the end of the driveway and jumped in the car when Emily pulled up. Instead of their usual comfortable silence the car ride was tense and awkward, and Paige hoped desperately that Emily would loosen up when they got to the Hungry Owl. They pulled into the mostly empty parking lot, and sat in the parked car.

When neither of them made any move to get out, Paige reached over to touch Emily's arm. "We don't have to go in," she said softly, nodding towards to the door. She felt Emily's trembling, and shifted over so she could wrap her arms around the other girl. Emily clung to Paige, sobbing in her arms. Paige ran her fingers through Emily's hair and whispered, "It'll be okay." After the tears subsided, Paige offered Emily a tissue. Emily smiled weakly and discreetly cleaned herself up.

"Even though I basically knew we weren't together anymore after the silences and weird phone calls, it still hurt so much to hear her actually say it." Emily paused and looked out the window. "She helped me come out. She helped me understand that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about me, only what I think of myself when I look in the mirror." Paige watched her, not wanting to interrupt. "Now I don't know what to think. If coming out gets you this hurt, why bother to-" Emily stopped as she felt Paige's hand on her cheek.

"Maya's choices have nothing to do with you, Emily. She's not rejecting _you,_ she's rejecting her own feelings. And that's her loss. I should know. I screwed up the same way." Paige started to lower her hand, but Emily moved her own hand up to cover it.

"Thank you, Paige. Thank you for taking me out tonight." Before Paige could answer, Emily was kissing her. The first kiss was relatively short, tender, and sweet. The kisses that followed were more insistent, rougher, as they both gave in to the loneliness and longing they felt. After a while they broke apart, each grinning sheepishly.

"We'd better go before we get arrested for making out in their parking lot," Emily laughed. "Besides, its getting late and your dad will probably kill you if you're out much later."

"I really don't care what my father thinks," Paige replied softly, taking Emily's hand. Emily just smiled and started the car. _I don't care what anyone thinks of me but you, Emily Fields._

And so, Paige had decided, today would be the day. She walked across the quad to the table where Emily ate lunch with Spencer, Aria, and Hanna. For their parts, Emily's friends had accepted their friendship begrudgingly, although Spencer still treated it as though it was some kind of delinquent outreach program. Paige was fairly certain Emily had told her friends about everything, from the dunking in the pool to last night's trip to the roadhouse, but to their credit, they had kept her secret. She approached the table where they sat.

"So, Fields, I hear there's a great concert in the city next week. Would you care to join me?"

Emily smiled as she reached into her purse and brought out two tickets. "McCullers, I thought you'd never ask."


End file.
